my mom

It is strange how my mom pops back into my life. I always think about her, but there are days when she is more present than others. Like today.

I watched some old 8mm video footage my brother gave me of our mom’s teenage years. It made me happy to see her with a smile on her face riding horses, playing on the farm.

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But in watching all of the footage, I saw more of her life. So much more footage of her younger brother. The step-father teaching him how to swim, shoot a gun. My mom only in peripheral footage. Like she was an after thought, which is how she felt.

I always think about how her life would have been different if she had someone in her younger life who taught her that she was important, a person who could make a difference in the world. And I have had close friends say that maybe this is why I am doing what I do professionally. My experiences drove me to try to make a change in the lives of young girls. They do not have to end up like my mom. I can help change that.

And then 2 other things happened today. First, I went to Siler City to do my first middle school outreach meeting. I have never seen a group of 6th graders so excited. They soaked up every word I shared, were engaged and super happy to have me teach them during their enrichment period. I know I was meant to be with those girls today.

When Rahul came home, he had a condolence card from a friend from my mom’s high school expressing their sadness that she was no longer with us. Apparently her 50th reunion was in the planning phase and someone saw his name in the obituary and mailed it to him.

But the timing… like my birds… I believe are on purpose. I watched my mom happy, yet not really happy. But the same day got a card thanking her for being a great friend and helped a group of underprivileged girls learn how to be strong leaders. An important message for me…. I am heading in the right direction. If I can make one more girl confident enough to not feel  like an after thought, my life will have been worthwhile. I will keep fighting this fight, in my mom’s name.

Kristan

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